What's white, glittery, and cute all over? Hint: It's not Edward the vampire. Amber is a lesbian who is well acquainted with her feminine side. Maybe a little too well acquainted. She's proud to be the girliest creature to ever come from the Island of Lesbos, but is she strong enough to stand up to society's concept of a butch lesbian and not even quake in her heels?


Well, the name seems to say it all. Or does it? Cunt (she's reclaiming the term...) is as feminist as Susan B. Anthony on speed. She is definitely one tough cookie--but don't ever call her cookie, if you'd like to keep your hearing in your right ear. But is her tough demeanor a representation of who she truly is, or is it all just a cover up for the quivering cunt she really is deep down?


Ned is so nerdy
But Ned has a big secret
Ned is really gay

Haiku at its finest, no doubt. Ned is a little guy carrying around one big secret--the homo lurking within. Can he keep it from rearing its rainbow head long enough for him to grow the balls to break up with his girlfriend?


The only thing more flaming than Randy is his overactive member. Randy does not only get around...he gets around and around and around. He's hornier than a stegosaurus's back. Yet can anyone really get as much sexy time as Randy claims without fudging at least a few of the numbers?

Dr. Schadenfreude

Dr. Schadenfreude (or Dr. Schads, as he's not so lovingly referred to) is constantly on a strict diet of coffee and cigarettes. Not because he wants to lose weight, but just so he can get through every day of his oh-so-annoying job of comforting weirdos at the University's counseling center. Despite the fact that Dr. Schads knows as much about the LBGT community as Abraham Lincoln knew about not getting shot, he has to work with the support group anyway so he can keep his job and keep on payin' up for the cig sticks.